We’ve Only Just Begun

To live! White lace and promises. A kiss for luck and we’re on our way! We’ve only begun.

But where do I start…

First I want to apologize for my lack of posts. I battled a bit of a depression for a few weeks. I often don’t write in those times which I probably should as it helps me figure out the world. I’ve also lost some of my drive to write. Perhaps that will begin to change now that things are not so hectic.

This journey has taken me up, down and all around. I started off weak, got strong, found myself vulnerable and found myself smiling again. The border incident seemed like a setback but as time would show, it was a blessing in disguise. It led me to where I am now and where I am now is exactly where I should be in the world.

So where am I now? I am living on Vancouver Island with Dion, Mallory and Mary. Hayden is potentially joining us full-time as well. We are working together to grow as individuals and are beginning to work together to create community. Our goal is to bring folks together within our small community here in Bowser. We have already started by networking with the locals and meeting with the local politician. We identified what the needs were in the community and how we could help improve the quality of life of those around us.

One way that we all believe can bring people together is through music. So what we are doing is hosting a concert in Mary and Mallory’s wonderful loft space once a month. Our first loft concert was on Saturday and it was a great success! We invited the whole neighbourhood and community members, encouraged them to bring instruments or anything they’d like to share, and spent the most amazing evening sharing our talents with one another. We had a friend, Keenan Wilcox, who is amazing singer-songwriter, come from Kamloops to perform. He lit the room up with his heartwarming vocals, excellent guitar skills and powerful stage presence. Check out his website at-www.keenanwilcox.com. Hayden rocked some originals and dazzled folks with his ridiculous guitar skills. Dion had the room in tears performing some comedy and also sang some lovely tunes. Mallory braved out playing the French horn without much practice in a few songs and found harmony with his talent. Mary got up and sung a beautiful song with her luscious vocals. We had a number of other performers like our old pal Jamie and new friends Devin and Gillian. Of course I played a couple sets, performing a mix of originals and covers, singing my little heart out. There was an awesome moment when Keenan, Dion, Jamie, Hayden and I all attempted to cover Society by Eddie Vedder with no one fully confident with the lyrics and chords. We got through it with a few bumps and bruises, all the while laughing and smiling. Dion put it perfectly, “This song was brought to you by being under prepared and influenced by alcohol!” And if the night couldn’t get any better, Dion suggested everyone get a hug from Keenan which escalated into everyone hugging everyone. Love was shared, music flowed freely and people came together. It was a night to remember!

It was a night that had a lot of significance for me. I had an epiphany back in August, while taking in a Keith Urban concert in Halifax, that music is an excellent way to bring people together. It is the universal language. It brings folks of all backgrounds together and connects the most diverse groups of people. Music affects people in such a deep and intimate way that when shared, serves as a soup kitchen for the hungry soul. We are at a time now that we need this more than ever before. We need to band together as a species and begin tackling the problems that threaten our survival (important to note that folks have already begun tackling these problems). Yes, we know that music does all of these things but that left me with a question of how we can do something more; something that brings people together like music but also offers other avenues of creative expression while promoting positive change. My answer right now is to create Harmony Road Records.

Harmony Road Records, as I have expressed in previous posts, is a dream I have which originated with my travels to Detroit. While in Detroit I visited the Motown Museum. In the 1960’s Motown was responsible for bringing a lot of ridiculously talented musicians together (I’m talking Marvin Gay, Stevie Wonder, The Temptations, the list goes on and on) and helped to break down social barriers during a time of widespread racism and prejudice. I believe what Motown accomplished back in the 60’s is exactly what the whole world needs right now. We are at a time of social change. It’s happening throughout the world and people are gathering together to pursue positive change. I want to contribute to this change at a macro level. To get to the macro level, however, one must begin in the micro. With the help of Dion, Hayden, Mallory and Mary, we will begin to build Harmony Road Records from the ground on up.

I’ve been actively applying to funding and researching ways to get this thing on the go. We are going to begin with a sound cloud account and build form there. Once we get set up, I will post the sound cloud account. Music will be the beginning of it all. As time goes on and we begin to establish ourselves in the world, we will incorporate a range of artistic endeavours from comedy to poetry, all in the name of positive change. Eventually we will get out touring. Until then, I envision us hosting artists from all over to record, share and help us grow something that will be sure to help the world get through the dark night to a brighter day. Exciting days are in the mix, my friends.

Along with these exciting plans, I have been doing a lot of self reflection. I’ve been working to better understand myself, as I have done for a long time, and find ways to improve on my weaknesses. One thing that I am working on is training my brain to think differently about things. For instance, I often do not gravitate toward mechanical/electrical endeavours because I simply do not have the passion to think past the surface. I want to change this pattern of thought so that I can be more self-sustainable. There will be times where I will not have another person to fix shit for me so I must work to build these skills. Fortunately, I have Mallory here to work with me. Mal, as I have posted before, is very skilled in these areas and can fix pretty much anything you give him. Slowly, I am beginning to ask more questions in an attempt to understand how everything works. Although I do not possess the passion just yet, I feel that I can train my brain to think differently. As Mal put it, you just have to dig new trenches in your brain to allow the thoughts to flow a different way.

Along the same lines as my new ways of thought with Mal, I am also slowly working to understand how to grow and make my own food. Mal and Mary have an organic garden that we are helping to plant and eventually expand as the season continues. They are able to grow much of their own food through the spring and summer. Mary has a business called Mother Mary’s in which she sells jarred foods that they grow in their own garden. I will be learning some new skills from Mary as the days roll on. She has already taught me how to make my own almond milk (super easy) and garlic oil (what a skilled woman that Mary is!) Dion and I will be learning to produce these good and sell them at the local farmer’s markets. We will also be selling some bird houses that Mal and I will be making along with these cool hand gardening tools that Mal makes with old golf clubs! Cool stuff.

Dion and I have also been working steadily on my poker game. I am proud to say that I am finally finding consistency in my game. We have a pretty reliable system mapped out that has yielded a lot of success in the past couple weeks. I am exercising a lot of discipline and have found the type of game that suits my style of poker the best. We’ll keep climbing the stakes which are almost out of the micro level now! My dream is to have poker be a sustainable means of income for us to help finance Harmony Road and help with the needs of our little commune.

I’ve also been working a lot on my music. I am constantly getting better at the guitar, now working my way up the fret board and beginning to understand some scales. It’s funny how fast you can learn things when you put the time in and have the passion. I challenge myself to learn new chords and have been active in changing my strumming pattern (harder than you might think). I’ve got Society down by Eddie Vedder now, after our hilarious attempt at the loft concert. I wrote a new tune that needs some arrangement but has some very power lyrics that I am very proud of. The tunes will continue to pour out of me as the days continue to get brighter.

Speaking of brighter days, my new home has some of the best weather that this country has to offer. Winter can be a bit rainy at times but for the most part, it is relatively warm. As spring approaches, as it is now, the days are getting sunnier and sunnier. Apparently it just shines everyday in the summer and rarely rains. That means lots of golf and time spent outdoors! Not to brag, but I feel like I am in heaven here. I love the luscious green growth that surrounds us, the sea is a few footsteps away and the mountains off in the distant are a magnificent site at any given time. Yeah, life ain’t so bad.

That’s all that I have for now. As you can tell, I have a lot on the go so writing is not my number one priority. I will do my best to update my blog as much as possible. I won’t take a month to post, however, that I can say for sure. It was just a difficult time for me to get to where I am now. I appreciate you guys reading my blog and I encourage you to get out there in the world and find your groove. Everyone can be a part of positive change simply by changing themselves. We are all so interconnected that people will begin to follow suit when you are working toward the greater good. Sure there will be resistance at times but in the end, it is better to do something positive and productive than to sit back and do nothing at all. The more we work to improve ourselves as individuals and work together as a species, the more likely it is that we will see the uprising of peace on earth.

Until next time, I love you fine folks and wish you nothing but happy days. Remember, everyone is just one compliment away from a good day.

Love,

Brandon

Weaknesses

I’ve got a bunch. I imagine you a few too. Is weakness so bad, though?

I know for me, I am my own worst critic and have spent many days focusing on my shortcomings. I will sit there and dwell on how I could have done something better if I only worked harder or spent more time focusing on the right things (hindsight is blessing and a bitch). Sometimes I get so down on myself because I lack efficacy, efficiency, and mastery in some areas. I want to be the best at everything I do. Sometimes, however, you just cannot be the best. Unless you have a whole lot of time to focus on improving a specific weakness, one must find acceptance in their downfalls. This is something I am continually learning and wanted to bring focus upon today.

As you have read, I am no longer on the road due to some unforeseen problems (however naive it was) at the border. I am living at Mary and Mallory’s home in a beautiful loft on Vancouver Island. What a blessing my new environment has been. I have been here a week now and it has given me lots of time to reflect on my travels and what I want to accomplish in the world. To get to where I want to go, I have had to admit to myself some of my weaknesses.

As I was running through the forest on my first day here, hacking up shit in my lungs, it dawned on me that I have substance abuse problem. I was never one to smoke darts (cigarettes), unless the drinks were flowing, but I’ve been smoking like a champ on this journey. I don’t even crave the friggin’ things but when I see one, I think to myself, “Mmmm, a nice ole dart!” Not the healthiest of thoughts that I have but existent, nonetheless. That got me thinking about my relationship with marijuana, a substance in which I advocate its use. I advocate, however, with the proper dosage, the proper time and in moderation. I fail at two of these and often all three. Whenever I have the herb, it is constantly on my mind. “Fuck it, just smoke it and do some shit. You’ll get stuff done, Brandon.” Sometimes I do, but the other 95% of the time I do not. I smoke it at inopportune times, like the morning, just because I have it. I convince myself that I need to smoke more so I continually puff until the day’s end. When it is all gone, I find some relief because I think to myself, “I am not going to make that mistake again. I didn’t get shit accomplished.” But I do and for many years, I pointed the finger at the substance but it is me who is the abuser.

Marijuana is a great healer, in mind and spirit, but it can be abused just as milk can be abused. It gets a bad name because people like me use it to escape far too often. Marijuana has helped me through periods of heartache and emotional turmoil, allowing me to focus on my short-term needs. It has helped me through the times where I get so down thinking about the world and its many problems that I cannot fathom any solution or course of action. It has always been the friend I needed when I needed it the most. But I have been a shitty friend over the years. I call em’ up in the middle of the middle of the night, wake em’ up and use em’ when I shoulda been focusing on my problems rather than passes them off on my friend. I fucked up. And I continue to make these same mistakes, over and over again.

I think now it is time for a new era where I do not need to run away from my old friend, but instead respect our relationship. It is time to act upon all that I know about the time, the amount, and how often we hangout. I want to remain friends but I can’t if I continue to abuse it. But these are just words, my actions will be the judge.

Some other weaknesses I have been coming to terms with is my lack of planning and my reliance on my faith. The latter can be a good thing, but in moderation. I often just go forth into the uncertainty of life with a firm belief that since my heart is in the right place, I will find the rest. This strategy has gotten me this far but now I am ready for a more structured course of action. A perfect example of this is our first attempt to cross the border. Here is a video of Dion’s feelings right after the initial attempt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KSVQfgf1lA. We were naive to think our footloose and fancy free travel plans would work. Unfortunately, if we had of been as prepared the first time as we were the second, we would have been let in. However, because we were flagged on the first run, we were doomed from that point on. Our lack of organization resulted in our failure to continue on our original travel plans.

As in any obstacle, I am not treating it as a barrier but as a learning experience. If I want to be effective in spreading positivity on a more macro level, which is my ultimate goal, I must plan more. I must take the time to sit down, practice some patience and draw out an effective course of action. I often have seen plans as creating expectations which, when not met, will lead to disappointment. But this is something I must get away from. I do not need to make expectations with a plan as long as I can incorporate room for error, room for change and room for growth. If I can open my mind to the possibility that my plan will evolve as I go, I can begin to make progress. Without a plan I will continue to fall and make the same mistakes.

I am tired of living in another reality. The reality we live in is often too much for me to handle so I escape and convince myself that I can make my Utopian view a reality without the drawing board. Wrong I am. But right I can be. We can make this Utopian view a reality but right now I have to take the time to get there with a proper course of action. I will continue to remind myself that Rome was not built in a day.

It is time to slow down for a bit and continue getting healthy. I have been pretty disciplined with exercising daily which is helping my overall quality of life and quality of contributions to the world. I have been given the opportunity to write for a politically incorrect website, Superbious.com. It will allow me to hone some skills in satirical political writing, something I have a lot of interest in. It’s not a paying gig but will help get my writing out to a different audience.

I am in a place where I can regiment my poker studying and playing. Dion has been coaching me and helping to improve my play which has been very beneficial to my success. Perhaps that can draw some consistent capital in the near future. Besides that, I am actively looking for ways to generate some income. If anyone in the art world has any leads on how my skills could generate capital, I would love hear from you.

To sum it all up, these weaknesses I have come to recognize are actually propelling me forward. They are showing me that there is always room for improvement. The fact is there will always be room for improvement. I am just as imperfect as the next. However, this is no excuse to continually make the same mistakes over and over again.

I ask you, the reader, is there a weakness in your arsenal that is gnawing at your progress? Is there something that you might change about how you go about your life? Just something to think about.

Be well, my friends.

Love,

Brandon

Do Not Pass Go Unless You Have 200K

The boys and I made our second attempt at the border on Sunday but came out with the same result: access denied. We are flagged as potential immigrants. We are not welcome in the United States. To give you the whole story, I will begin with our first experience at the border that I wrote last week but was unable to post because I figured homeland security would be checking out my blog. How awful is that?

We had everything we needed to cross the border and a loose itinerary of our travels. When we pulled up, the border guard asked us a series of questions and determined that we had to go get inspected in the building due to the length of our stay in the U.S.  After waiting a while we got up to talk to the guy at the counter, who asked us more detailed question about our trip. He asked if we were employed and we all said no because we were traveling. He asked us if we had a permanent home in Canada and we all claimed our parent’s house. When asked if we paid rent, we said no because we were traveling and not currently living there. He asked how much cash we had on us, and we all claimed under a thousand. He asked what would happen if we ran out of money and I said that I planned to busk with the proper permits in various cities. In hindsight, I should not have said that but I was being honest. We ensured them of our travel plans to camp and make use of Couch Surfing. We said we lived on very little funds and didn’t plan on spending a lot of money. That way of life does not mesh well with a culture run on consumerism.

As we sat there, we read two signs that were starling to say the least: the first one was worded so that anything you say or do during the process could be construed as assaulting a border guard and they could detain you indefinitely; the second one was worded so that all of your belongings were now property of the United States and they could do whatever they pleased with them. Essentially, when we crossed that border we had zero rights. To add to this, a man asked me when I returned from the washroom if there was in fact a washroom in the facility. I said yes. He said they told him there wasn’t a washroom. How terrible is that? Then a family came in and sat there confused of what line to get in when a border guard just yelled, “get in line!” Rather than help this nice young family, he chose to abuse and belittle them.

I want to elaborate on the border guards behaviour from a psychological standpoint: when you put a group of people together, dress them in uniforms and give them guns, they are going to feel very powerful. Right off the bat there is no room for individual traits but rather, they identify with the group and work as a unit. It is the classic mob mentality you see with people rioting but instead of it lasting for a night, it is role played day in, day out. You tell them that there job is to protect their country from potential threats and illegal immigration. They are taught to be critical of everyone, especially those who fit into certain demographics- i.e., hippies, anyone who even remotely looks of Middle Eastern decent, Mexican and the list goes on. Discrimination is common place in this line of work. So you add all of these factors in and the guards, to redeem some morsel of humanity, have to completely identify with their ego. They have to swallow all of there natural human emotions like compassion, empathy and love due to the fear that someone might hurt them and their country. It is a job based on fear. I cannot convey how badly I feel for those folks who do this job. I watched the guard dealing with us swallow hard numerous times as we tried to make sense of the situation. I could see the little child inside of her buried so deep and just wanting to come out to play. But if she did, that might show weakness, right? The unhappiness and awful cold feeling in the building is enough to eat and destroy even the purest of souls.

Back to the story: We waited uncomfortably for a long time before being called back up, one by one, to a room in the back. Two guards walked us into the room and informed us they would be taking our finger prints and picture. While taking our finger prints, one guard, who was actually nice and interested in our journey, asked me questions about finances and shit. I answered them all honestly and felt comfortable with my responses. I was also way too excited to be in a room taking my finger prints, telling the guards that I loved experiencing new things lol. I also showed off my new-to-me Budweiser hat from 1983 that Mallory gave me. Dion said wearing that hat was strike one against us. He asked me not to wear it but I gotta be Brandon! In hindsight, non-confirming Brandon had less of a chance to get in then any Middle Eastern man, which were common among people in the interrogation facility.

We all went through this same process and waited uncomfortably for another while. In total, we were there for roughly three and a half hours. We got called back up to the counter and the border guard informed us that we would not be getting into the United States. The reason they said is that we have no ties and equities in Canada. Now any logical traveler that was able to cut financial ties would of course exercise that option in order to save money. We all left our jobs and apartment leases to travel and that was the reason we did not get into the United States.

Their fear is that we were going to bum around in the U.S. and not stimulate the economy. We did not have anything binding us to Canada. God forbid we try to go out into the world, explore the land, and explore ourselves to find happiness. One guard said, and not to belittle us, but if we had 300K in our bank account, they would have let us right through. Even if we had of said that we were gonna bomb down to Vegas, spent a pile of money on booze and hookers, and come back a few days later, they would have given us a slap on the ass and a smile as we drove on though.

As we left the facility, I told them that I didn’t think anyone could take the smile from my face anymore. I was wrong.

Here is how I felt about the situation: I decided to go off the well-beaten track and try to do things my own way. I wasn’t happy with the whole find a good paying job and buy a house way of life. Not say there is anything wrong with this choice, just not one I am interested in. Instead, I wanted to go out there and make a mark on the world by spreading positivity and encouraging folks to pursue their passions. When we got to the border, the system said I was unable to go pass because I was on a different path. They basically said that if you were on the old path and had those things that I felt were holding me down, I would be able to cross. They wanted to make sure I had a life to go back to. That ain’t me. Home is where the heart is and my heart is in my chest. So wherever I go, I am home. That does not mean that I want to stay put in their country but rather, explore, meet people and learn things I would not be able to experience while living back in Canada.

So we left there feeling abused, belittled and worthless in a society who measures the value of a person by the size of their bank account. It makes me nauseous just thinking about that experience. As I had posted last week, we ended up crashing in Dion’s buddy’s van in East Vancouver while we secured the documents they required for us to cross the border. Again, my goal was to make it to Florida to be with my family who planned a vacation for my mother to fulfill her dream of taking her three boys to Disney World. I struggled a lot emotionally during the week because I felt so much pressure to make it in to see my family.

As you can tell, we or more so, I, was pretty naive the first time around. As my friend Peter has said, I see the world through rose coloured glasses. I had to take them off the second time and play the game. So we got all of the documents we could supporting our past/future employment in Canada, the rental agreement for the home my brother rented with my name on it in Florida, increased our bank accounts substantially and created a very detailed itinerary/budget.

We went in there again on Sunday, very optimistic that our re-vamped plan with our supporting documents would work. The first guard we seen while going through in the car was satisfied with our plan until he realized we were all flagged. We were sent over to the concrete bunker again and put back in line. When we got to the border guard at the counter, she immediately asked where our current proof of employment and our current mortgage/leases were. We said that we had everything we could give them to secure our ties in Canada and had increased our equities to more than justify the length of our travels. Bottom line is that we were flagged from the first time as potential immigrants. Without current employment or a lease/mortgage, there is no way we were getting into the United States.

We were forced to sit there for hours again. This time there was no smile on my face. I sat there sweating and holding back tears as the thoughts raced in my mind of not getting in and letting my family down. When we were called up to get our fucking finger prints and picture taken again, my optimism ran out. A bit later we were called over and informed that we were not getting in. I began bawling my eyes out and asked if I just bought a plane ticket with a return fare, would I be allowed in and they said no. All I could think was how I was going to tell my mother that I couldn’t join them on our family vacation. Devastation became my reality. Thank God for Dion and Hayden, for without them I do not think I could have made it through that experience. The boys glued me together temporarily while also feeling crushed by the system.

Now I know that I focus a lot on myself here but Hayden and Dion were just as affected. They both dropped what they were doing to join me on this adventure. They wanted to get out there into the world and explore, learn and make an impact. They are hurting just as bad as I am right now.

We traveled back to East Van, contacted Dion’s friend and got the key for the van. We thought we might try to find a place in East Van and set up shop there. Dion’s friend was courteous enough to let us use his van for an extended period but was uncomfortable with it being a permanent residence while looking for an apartment. Understandable but shitty nonetheless. So we called Mallory and Mary (Dion’s parents) who were more than happy to have us stay with them again. We snagged the next ferry back over to Vancouver Island and made it back to the loft where Mal and Mar welcomed us with open arms.

I had to make the call to my mother and tell her I would not be able to join them in Florida. She was disappointed but receptive and understanding of the situation. It was a call I was dreading to make but like many times before, momma said it was okay. I love and respect that woman more than anyone in this world. Thanks again for birthing me, mom!

So here we are, back on the island and enjoying the loft again. The last 10 days have been really tough on our emotions yet here we are breathing, living and even laughing a bit. Now it is time to get our shit together; I’m talking following a proper diet and starting an exercise regime. It’s time to implement all of the things I know my body needs to work at an optimal level. In turn, my brain will function at a higher level. With that, I will be able to begin to be the change I want to see. Failure is not an option.

Hayden’s creative juices are flowing so he will continue writing and composing his music. Dion’s drive to refine a comedy routine is growing and he is motivated to begin making fun of the sad reality we live in. I am motivated more than ever to write about my journey and the failures of Western Culture. The music is going to come pouring out of me once I get Autumn back in shape with some new strings and maybe a reset of her neck.

Despite these huge setbacks, life is actually pretty good. This is not where any of us seen us being at this point but we are making the most of it. Our experience at the border has cemented the fact that we need change now more than ever. I am sick and tired of seeing people so unhappy; from the lost soul on the streets, to the lost soul behind the desk in the penthouse office, to the wavering soul writing this post. We can change and we will.

Although my travels have halted, I will be continue posting on my blog. My goal is to set up a structure and have 2-4 posts per week. So keep reading and thank you for taking interest. I love you.

I will leave you with a quote from Dion he posted on FB after our experience: “If there weren’t obstacles in our way, if the things we want to accomplish were easy, would they be worth it? The measure is achieving a goal, a dream, despite the hardships through the constant struggle. I can do it, so can you.”

Be well, my friends.

Love,

Brandon

Vantastic in Vancouver

The boys and I followed through with our plan to leave Vancouver Island on Saturday and set sail to the mainland. It was tough leaving such lovely living conditions with Mother Mary and Mallory but we all knew we had to go. So we boarded the ferry with the sun setting in the West. While on the ferry, we made friends with some nice young ladies and played them some tunes on the deck. Some solid conversation and the excitement of our trip flowed in and out of us as we made the trip across the Pacific.

Dion’s pal, Jason, picked us up and dropped myself and Hayden off at the Sky Train station. Dion stayed with Jason while Hayden and I went to stay with Linda and David in Port Coquitlam where my car was stored. Also my mom was visiting! They took us out for dinner and spoiled the shit out of us. Linda and David’s generosity and kindness has been such a blessing for me. I just love those two so much! After dinner we played them a few tunes and then hit the hay. After getting some more groceries and supplies from Linda in the morning, we were off to pick up Dion and hit the United States.

Unfortunately, we were unable to get into the United States. We are currently revamping our plan to make it more concrete. We will keep you updated on this as we work through the situation.

Our ultimate goal is to get to Florida for the second week of February to meet my mom and brothers. We surprised my mother for her birthday back in September with a trip to Disney World; the one she dreamed of taking us on as children. If I cannot make it to Florida, my mother will be devastated. I cannot let her down.

On a positive note, Dion’s friend, Trent, came through and gave us a play to stay in East Vancouver. He gave us everything we needed and treated us so well. I cannot express how grateful we are for Trent and his roommate Lindsay’s hospitality. He had to go back to work today but he lent us his camper van to live in lol. Sitting in the van last night, Hayden says, “Boys, not only do we live in a Van but none of us actually own the van!” HAHAHA.

When life throws you a curve ball, you better change your stance. That we did. Finding acceptance for our current situation has been tough but we have some peace. We are laughing, singing and living still. Hopefully a concrete itinerary and cementing ties with Canada will get us through to the other side.

Please send us some positive vibes, prayers, or any way in which you think you can help manifest our dreams. We need all the help we can get at this point.

I will leave you with a piece of knowledge myself and my pal, Grant, were discussing via FB this morning: Accepting negative situations for what they are allows you effectively work in finding solutions to improve your conditions. On the same plane, accepting a good situation for what it is will allow you to soak in the experience without focus elsewhere. Essentially, acceptance allows you to live in the Now and help you work with reality instead of fighting it.

Be well, my friends.

Love,

Brandon

Home in the West

It has come to my attention that my latest post could be interpreted in a way in which I did not intend. The point of writing about my experience with magic mushrooms was to show people that recreational drug use does not have to be viewed as an act of people who are lost or looking for an escape. Rather, as I thought I had conveyed, drug use can be used to grow as a human being; allowing yourself to see the world from a different perspective for a moment. In doing that, I was not advocating the use of drugs but merely sharing my story. And in my story, I clearly indicate and promote the use of research and critical thinking when deciding to experiment with a drugs. Recreational drug use should be an educated and informed decision. If you do not agree with drug use, that is fine too. We can agree to disagree.

It has also come to my attention that I left you fine folks hanging! My apologies. I finished my “Full Circle in Victoria” post by stating something huge was in the making. So here’s the story:

My good pal, Zsolt, contacted me and saw a great deal of potential in myself as public figure. He believes in positivity and saw that I am out in the world spreading that wonderful stuff. He felt that the two of us could work together and create a movement that would bring a lot of people together. I was really excited about this as we shared ideas back and forth. When I met up the fellas (Dion and Hayden) we all sat down and had a video chat with Zsolt. Through that connection, we realized there were some differences in our value systems and our visions for this project. Zsolt was more so looking to polish and share my gifts with the world. However, my journey has led me to be with the other two parts of me; Hayden and Dion. The three of us have come to the conclusion that our mission to spread positivity and make change will be defined once we hit the road. Zsolt’s method for his own success has been one that is planned and executed with efficiency; a wonderful model but not one that we as a group can subscribe to at the present moment. On a positive note, Zsolt informed today that he found a motivational speaker that wants to work with him. I am so happy for the guy!

As for me and the boys, we will head forth into the United States tomorrow or the next day. We are going to be documenting our trip via video camera. The three of us will be living our passions in the arts; Dion with his comedy and music, Hayden with his music and myself with writing, music and comedy. We aim to make people laugh, sing, dance and learn to love living again. Yeah, lots of people are already lovin’ their life but we want that for everyone. We’ve got some ideas of how this thing will go but ultimately we will not know until we get out there. So yes, big things are in the making and we are all very happy in the meantime.

This reminds me, I haven’t filled you guys in on my time here spent at Dion’s parent’s home in Bowser, Vancouver Island. I have been here for closing in on two weeks now. We are staying in this beautiful loft with views of the ocean, an endless selection of records and everything three dudes could possibly need. Walk across the lawn and you are in the home of two of the most beautiful, warm hearted people I have had the pleasure of meeting; Mother Mary and Mr. Mallory. Dion told me before we got here that his parents were a blessing and after spending just a few minutes with them, I told him that was an understatement. These two kindred souls have been taking care of us like we (Hayden and I) were one of their own. Mother Mary has been feeding us famously and baking up a storm! Her muffins and loafs are so tasty, especially with the pile of coffee they brew every day. She is a friendly, free-spirited and very much in her own realm of humanity- just love her to death! Mary is also actively building a business for herself to sell her jams, sauces and other preservative-free jarred goods! Mr. Mallory, or Mal as I like to call him (in a really high pitched Toad-like voice) is that guy that just does everything; from fixing electronics, to cars, to well, anything he puts his mind to. He’s got skills on the French horn which he used in a house concert we put on last weekend. Mal is quite the golfer and has taken us out golfing a few times- That’s right, there is a place in Canada where you can golf year round! With these beautiful people surrounding us on the daily, it is not hard to understand why we are leaving a week after we thought 🙂

The highlight of my stay here in Bowser has to be the house concert we put on in the loft last weekend. This was a dream Mal and Mary had when they built the loft so I was honoured to be a part of its manifestation. We invited friends and family over for a big jam session. Mal and Dion got an old microphone rigged up and set a nice stage for everyone’s listening pleasures. In total, we had about ten people show up and take in the show. Hayden and I played a bunch of original tunes. Jamie, Dion’s cousin, played a few originals and bunch of classics. Peter, a relative of Mary, stole the show with a bunch of great tunes we could all sing to and dance. The night was full of laughter, smiles and just old fashioned fun! Jamie and I ended up closing the night out at 430am after a couple hours in which Jamie serenaded me while I played online poker hahaha. The night was a great success!

The boys and I will be leaving Vancouver Island tomorrow and heading to Port Coquitlam to Linda and David’s where the Purple Bullet resided while I was on the island. On a plus note, my mom will be there as well! Pumped to see her again. Love my mama I do. We plan to play them some tunes and share some stories before taking off on Sunday morning on route to Portland , Oregon. Pumped to get back on the road!

I will do my best to update my blog more frequently and possibly develop a timeline of when I will post during the week. I apologize for the gap between my last few posts. I want to thank you all again for reading my blog and following along on my journey. You are the inspiration for me to keep writing and trying to make a difference. I love you.

Be well, my friends, and do something nice for someone today. As Dion says, everyone is one compliment away from a good day.

Love,

Brandon

Full Circle in Victoria

Well, folks, it is time that I update my travels. That is, after all, why I started this blog in the first place.

After my two weeks in survival mode in Vancouver, I hopped on the ferry and crossed the bay to Victoria. Since that time, I have been staying with my cousin who resides a few minutes away form downtown Victoria. What a blessing it is for me to be here. This place is beautiful. It reminds me so much of my home in Halifax; a nice little port town with lots of friendly faces around. It has been especially nice to be here at this time of year. The Holidays can be a lonely, homesick time when you are on the road; especially for me since it was my first time away from home on Christmas. But then I realized that I was with family (my lovely cousin, Kim) and I am exactly where I am supposed to be. This was also Kim’s first Christmas with her husband at sea (Navy), so our situation was similar. We have spent plenty of time together in the past few weeks. Kim opened her home up, accepted my alternative lifestyle, and has supported me through some emotional times. The bond we have shared has been one of acceptance and love for the other. Although we have different values and views of the world, Kim and I have found common ground on which we can relate. We’ve laughed, we’ve learned and best of all, we got to spend quality time together. I cannot thank you enough, Kim, for everything you’ve done for me here. I love ya.

This experience has also allowed me to reflect upon my own thoughts and values. Our differences, as I have come to realize, are so important. We need to look at life from multiple angles. Kim’s view differs from mine in some ways. She is not right but either am I. We both see life from a different perspective. Rather than waste our time, as many of us have done in the past, trying to figure who is right and who is wrong, we simply accept the other’s view. If we disagree, we might challenge the other person. This is a good thing. However, it is only effective if we are open to it. If we are in the mindset that “I am right” or “they are wrong,” we close the door of opportunity to learn something. With that, progress is halted and a grunge match in which no winner ever arises occurs. We lay stagnant, closed off to the world because we couldn’t let go of our self-righteous belief and accept something different. Acceptance does not mean that you believe in it but rather acknowledge it’s existence instead of shrugging it off. At the end of the day, if you do not want to listen to me, why would I want to listen you?

Okay, seriously Brandon, stop yarning about life and get back to the travels. Fine!

My good friend, Zach Gough, was in town at his parents over the holidays. I got to spend lots of time with him, catching up on all of our news and laughing up a storm! Zach is an amazing artist (http://zacharygough.ca/) and is doing his MFA in Art and Social Practice at Portland State University in Oregon. This is the premier school for artists in North America. Zach has and will continue to flourish in this school. Our time together made me question my life in many ways. His views, my views, other’s views, have all come up in conversation and allowed me put together a life that I want. The life I am living now and will continue to live. Thanks, Zach, I love ya buddy.

So I’ve been here for 2.5 weeks now. It has given me time to digest everything that I learned in my journey so far. While here I have come full circle, as my title suggests, in finding who I am and finding my purpose. I was able to let ago of the past, understand and really embody what it is I want to do with my life, and now I am ready to move forward. This whole finding myself thing will be an ongoing process as I continue to practice what I have learned. Really, it is a never-ending process. But that is okay. I have figured myself out enough to this point to know what it is I must do.

So what is it? Well, my friends, you will soon see myself and group of individuals launch a movement toward spreading positivty. We are in the beginning stages of this project but believe me, it is going to be huge! I am actually minutes away from meeting with two friends, who I met on my journey, that are going to be in the front lines with me. So stay tuned and stay positive my friends. This blog, this life, is going to get a whole lot more interesting soon.

Love,

Brandon

 

The Diary of Someone Who Cares

This is the first post I have written in multiple sessions because it took time for me to fully understand what it is I am trying to accomplish. This is an overview of what I see in the world and what I believe we need to do as a world community. It is based on my personal experience, research I have done, and inspired by my love for human beings, our planet, and every living organism .It is based on my view of the world from a North American perspective. I recognize that I have a long way to go in understanding the world but that will not stop me from sharing what I see now. There are millions of me out there with the same vision. I am merely making it public for everyone to see. I encourage you to read this with a critical mind and do your own research. I did not filter the language I used because I write exactly how I feel. I ask that you read it all the way through before passing judgement. Thank you.

How can I sleep tonight knowing that there is so much awful shit going on in the world? How can I sleep knowing that someone, right now, is starving to death? How can I sleep tonight knowing that I am a part of the problem?

I can’t. Plain and simple.

That isn’t the first or the last time I will say “I can’t.” When someone asks for help on the streets, I sometimes say “I can’t”, even if what that person needed was just a minute of my time to listen to their plight. I say “I can’t” because I make assumptions. I assume they want money from me, in many cases. Money, really? That’s it? Some stupid fucking piece of paper that we attach value to? That same piece of paper we allow to control our world? That is why I won’t stop to listen to someone in need? Are you fucking kidding me? It’s pathetic, I know.

The sad truth is that we are living in a world where money has more worth than life. We rape people, we destroy homes, we destroy the environment, and we murder animals and people in the name of profit. We’ve had entire wars over fucking money. Millions upon millions of humans dying for the millions upon millions of replaceable pieces of paper we get when all is said and done. That is too fucked up for me to fathom but it is the cold harsh reality we live in. You would think over the course of evolution that we would learn from the mistakes of our ancestors but nope, we just continue to recreate havoc. How have we not figured out that we were put here to protect this earth, not exploit it? How have we not figured out that we were put here to work together instead of working against one another? How have we not figured out that we are all different as we are all the same? Oh right, we have, we just haven’t done anything about it. That’s not fair; we have made some progress but not enough. It will be 2013 tomorrow and I cannot face another year where we see more and more of the same. There will be people starving to death. There will be people dying of curable diseases. There will be people killing to make money in some vain attempt to find happiness at the top of the latter of wealth. Guess what mother fucker? It will never be enough because you were filling the wrong jar to begin with.

Generating money has become the soul purpose of life for many people these days. Go to school, get a good paying job so you can live comfortably, right? Is that not the equation in the Western World? But what if living comfortably meant that someone else had to live uncomfortably? Or them not living at all? What if you could have prevented that from happening? Guess what? That is exactly what is happening. Corporations around the world enslave people, sorry, employee people, and have slowly cut down on employee wages, employee benefits, safe working conditions, all in the name of profit; profit that goes straight to the top dogs who run the company and do little of the work. The one’s working night and day, never getting to see their families, and yet only barely make enough to feed themselves, are the one’s getting screwed. That is not right. That is an absolute truth. And those are just examples in North America. Employee rights, human rights for that matter, don’t exist in other parts of the world where entire families, including young children, are sent to work for pennies. And who buys the products they produce? You and I. Don’t ask, don’t tell, right?

Do I point the finger at the top dogs? No I do not. Because it is not them that is committing these heinous crimes, it is the system we have created that promotes greed. We have reprogrammed ourselves with this system to see greed as a way of surviving. We fuck over our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, daughters, and sons so that we can survive. But we know in our hearts that this is wrong. What we see, however, is that this course of action is the only way. I am here to tell you today that this is not the only way. We can all go to the top together without making a dime. We can all be millionaires in our hearts. We can all be happy. But what we are doing right now is trying to climb over each other to the top, establishing ourselves as better than one another.

Power and prestige are a front for the unhappy. They are the walls that surround a castle of emotional turmoil and years of shit that have amounted to define these lost souls. Fortunately, I can see you. I see through the walls. It is my gift and I want to share it with you. We can hug, we can play, we can laugh and we can live. I will not judge you. I will accept you. I love you. We all do but we aren’t listening to the real person inside of us that want to say these things, feel these things, and be these things. We are listening to the ego, the stranger, whatever it is you call it, that is inside each and every one of us; that little fuck that, at times, completely defines our actions and thoughts. It feeds on insecurity. It feeds on other people. It feeds on greed. And capitalism induces the ego mindset. Thus, the system needs to change.

Perhaps the worst part of the ego is that it feeds on our soul. I, for one, am tired of this stupid little fuck I have, at times, let control my life. I faced the stranger in 2012 and said no. Guess what happened? He backed off. I put him in the cage that held the angel and allowed my wings to grow. The true self came out to play and I have never been happier in my life. I want that for everyone. We CAN and we WILL evolve to this state of mind, this state of living, this state of true bliss.

How? We will have to do things the hard way. Two things must happen: First, we must all take the inward journey we’ve put off for thousands of years (many have already taken this journey in the present day and in the past) and confront the ego, the stranger, whatever it is you call it. We must unleash the true self and discover what it is that we want to do with our lives. I’m talking finding your purpose, your passion, without factoring in how much money you will earn. Next, we must change the system. I am talking changing the capitalistic system that worked for a while but is now the forerunner in a race that will eventually destroy the earth and the human race. No one wants that. If you do, we will help you get the rehabilitation you need and supply you with the love that will bring you back to a more coherent mindset. You see, that is what we must do, come together and help each other. With this mindset, the change will begin. Shit, the change has already begun.

To emphasize what I mean I will begin to tackle a few problems with our system in my home of Canada and our southern neighbours, the United States of America:

The Justice System: In North America, we send prisoners to jail as a form of punishment for their crimes. In jail, prisoners are often treated as the world’s biggest piece of shit and beat down. What prisoners often learn is how to commit their crimes better so that they don’t get caught the next time. Even if they do try to change their lives around, we stick a label on them which inhibits them from getting hired at most places. Thus, we sentence them to a life of crime defined by their past. There is little focus on rehabilitation and lots on punishment. We know from psychological research that capital punishment as a form of conditioning our children is not only ineffective, it causes a whole slew problems in adulthood. Yet our lust for revenge on people who have done wrong leads us to believe that punishment will somehow work in adulthood. Wrong. You know who is taking steps to getting it right? Norway! In Norway, there focus is on rehabilitation. They send their criminals to an island and treat them as people, teaching responsibility and getting to the root of the problems. Check this video by Michael Moore (keep making your documentaries, good sir. Some of us are actually listening): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4beUC3-ckw

The War on Drugs: Well, the title says it all. War doesn’t get us very far. You are fighting something that will inevitably still find its way onto the streets. Why? Because people like getting high and forgetting the problems we have created with our system. Rather than acknowledging that drugs exist, we tell kids to just say no instead of educating them on what the drugs actually do. America spends millions each year funding this campaign that started with Nixon back in the 70’s (go research its effectiveness and look at the stats; they’re startling). It never worked and still does not work. But guess who is taking steps to getting it right? Portugal! In Portugal their focus is on rehabilitation and educating people on the health risks of each drug. They have decriminalized all of their drugs and began helping those in need instead of punishing them. Their approach seems contradictory to what “should work” but it is working (go research its effectiveness and look at the stats; they’re startling) Check this video out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oCPA8AnAuM

Health care: Who wants to pay for health care? “We do. We do!” said the Republican Party in the U.S. But why would anyone want to pay for health care? Because people are profiting from the sick. Are you fucking kidding me? You are letting people die because they cannot afford to get the care they need even though the resources to give them said care exists? That’s fucking pathetic. But it ain’t you, it’s the system we created that allows this to happen. A system based on consumerism and commercialism. A system that says you need X, Y, Z to live when the answers were in nature all along. A system that allows people to ignore their true self because they believe it is what they need to do to survive which means that other people don’t survive. But guess who took the step to getting it right? Canada! Of course my bias will show itself here but we really do have a wonderful health care system in Canada. Our costs are taken care of by the provincial and federal government and private insurance companies play only a very small role in the system. We take care of everyone in need. Prescriptions cost, yes, but at least we can see the doctor and find out what’s wrong.

These are just a few of the many problems we have here in North America. We know the solutions are out there but all too often we ignore them because we hold on so dearly to the way it “outta be” or “should be.”  Well, I’ve got news for you, it is not. If we want to change the current state of our society, we must look to research not ideology. We must look at what is working in other parts of the world. We must listen to the real facts instead of holding onto the old ones. We must recognize that what worked yesterday might not necessarily work today. We must recognize that change is inevitable and we are a species that are constantly changing. We cannot change if we cannot accept change. We must accept our own faults and failures as a species. We need to put down our pride and recognize that perfection is an illusion. We are as imperfect as the next and no one, I mean no one, is better than anyone else. We just have different strengths, skills, interests, views, body shapes, skin colour- I could go on for days here but the point is we are all different. The difference is what makes the world go around. If everyone was like you, the world would be fucked. We need to respect these differences and accept that we are all different as we are all the same. We need to accept that we are imperfect- shit I probably contradicted myself several times in this piece of writing but guess what, I don’t give a fuck! Why? Because I accept my imperfections and I love me just the same. I’m gonna make mistakes and so will you. The mistakes are what got us to this point of evolution. They are our greatest learning tool. So instead of fixating on them, why don’t we learn from them and apply what we’ve learned? Why don’t we focus on fixing our own mistakes instead of judging other people’s mistakes? Don’t judge them, help them for fuck sakes. Judging them is not going to do anything except alienate them and encourage the cycle of shit to continue. Let’s stop the cycle.

Today is December 31^st, 2012. Some believed the world was going to end this year but it did not. It did not for a reason. What is the reason? I am not sure just yet but I have faith that something good, something beautiful, is going to happen. Let’s make that come true in 2013. It will not be an easy task or one that happens right away but it can and it WILL happen. It’s inevitable. As I have stated, for such change to happen, we need everyone to come together; from the people living on the streets in Sydney, to the CEO’s in the Hamptons, to the coffee farmer in Peru, to the Navy man in North Korea, to the ice sculptor in Finland, to the young girl trying to find herself in Sudan. We need all of you and you and you and you. Let’s hold hands, smile with one another, dance with one another, sing with one another, and finally discover what it really means to have peace on earth.

Dylan was right; the answer is blowing in the wind. Can you feel that gust? I can. I’m going to listen to the wind and let it blow me around the USA and South America for the next six months. Peace 🙂

*I want this to be shared with as many people as possible. If you are looking for the same positive change as I, please share it with your friends, family and anyone you want.

Love,

Brandon (the real Brandon)

*For help with the inward journey, check out courses taught by the Art of Living Foundation. They are taught in almost every country in the world. http://www.artofliving.org/ca-en

*For knowledge on the Ego vs the True Self, check out Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose

Peace on Earth

I figure if the world ends tomorrow, which I am certain it will not, I should make my last post be something worthwhile. I am writing this post with Martin Luther King Jr. in my ear preaching peace on earth just three months before he was assassinated. Doctor King dedicated his life to spreading his message of civil rights for all people, non-violence and the pursuit of peace. He was killed for standing up for what he believed in and held so dearly to his heart; peace on earth.

Peace on earth. That has a nice ring to it, does it not? Are we there yet? No. But there are pockets of peace all over this earth. I’ve seen, as I am sure you have too, the beautiful hearts and the coming together of many different people with diverse backgrounds in celebrations of peace. Peace is celebrated on many occasions: holidays, religious and spiritual gatherings, family time, and many times on a personal level with peace being felt from within. It is my belief that this is where peace begins- from within. If we are to find peace in the world we must find peace from within first. We have an obligation to the world to go inside of ourselves and confront those demons that hold us back from achieving inner peace. How are we to progress to a peaceful tomorrow if people are still struggling from within? We simply cannot. We must take the strides to improve ourselves and find our true self that all-to-often is buried underneath years of hardships and pain that occurs externally to each one of us. The key word in that last statement was externally. Life begins on the inside and is shaped on the outside, externally. Life’s powerful forces often throws us up and down and all around. We want to go here but we’re tossed over there. We want to get there but were pushed back here. We end up so frustrated, confused and upset, trying to control what inevitably cannot be controlled; life. We point fingers at others for our pain and suffering. We blame the world for not being where we want to be. The truth, however, is that you are exactly where you should be in the world right now. You, reading this blog, are precisely where you should be. Perhaps you don’t like where you are at but nonetheless, you are here.  So what do you do? If you are unhappy, I suggest taking an introverted journey to seek out what it is that is making you unhappy. You must point the finger at yourself and take responsibility for your own happiness. If you rely on others for your happiness, like in a romantic relationship, you will never know the true bliss that lies within you. The key to peace and happiness is in you. Take the key and start the ignition. Believe me, it is the most wonderful ride you will ever take.

The ride sounds great, but how does one get their hands on the key? The answer for me is spiritual exploration. The answer could come in a different form for you. The best way for me to convey my message is to tell my own story of achieving inner peace:

For years I struggled with all of the questions that invade many of our minds: who am I? Why am I not happy? These are two questions especially important to me. I stood on the losing side of a battle in my mind for 24 years. Yes, there were pockets where I had it figured it out as much as I could at the time but it was never sustainable. I stood time and time again, lost in my head, perseverating on all of the pain, disrespect, and ignorance I experienced in my youth. Many nights I spent crying, feeling so inadequate and worthless. I felt trapped and out of control.

The first week of February, 2007, my understanding of the world suddenly expanded. I went from being an unenlightened teenager to a worrisome adult. From a neurological conclusion, my frontal lobes had fully developed and I was able to think much more vastly about the world. It scared the shit out of me. The world is fucked, I thought. Thoughts of global warming, war, death, corruption in politics, capitalism, all flooded my mind. Why were people so unhappy? Why does it seem that everything comes down to whether people profit or not? Why? These questions had never crossed my mind until that week. I was 19 years old and never more frightened in my life. I needed answers.

A few days later, my girlfriend at the time invited me to church with her and her family. It was the Baptist denomination of Christianity. I grew up Catholic until I got confirmed at 15 years old and was able to make my own decisions. I chose not to go back to church except on a few occasions to  give my mom some company. I agreed to go try out the Baptist church, mostly because they said there was pizza lol. Nonetheless, I went. I was amazed to find that the church had a gym in its basement and a band comprised of a drummer, bassist, guitarist and keyboard player. This was completely different from the traditional Catholic service with the organ and it’s strict structure. When the pastor got up to talk, he began addressing every problem in the world that had crossed my mind that week. I was in awe of everything he was saying. I sat there and listened. I didn’t say a word and completely tuned into the service. It was like no one else existed in the world except for me and the pastor. When he was done talking, I felt I still did not have the answer I needed to calm my weary head. The pastor then invited people up to accept Jesus Christ into their life and promised eternity by surrendering to His greatness. Before I even realized, I was in front of everyone kneeling in front of the pastor. I just sat there and didn’t say a word. I just accepted. That night I cried tears of happiness for one of the first times in my adult life. At that time, Christianity was the answer. I felt like I knew everything I needed to know, regardless of the fact that I knew very few things from the bible. I just felt it right. From there on out I started talking out of my ass and doing a lot of weird shit.

I was convinced that Christianity was the answer to bring the world together. I straight up thought that I was some sort of prophet put here to unite the world. I tried my best make my family and friends understand my vision. I went to friend’s houses and scared the shit out of them with my preaching. My best friend, Peter, said the first time I visited after that night at the church, he had never felt more uncomfortable in his own home lol. I just kept saying shit like “you can do it” and refused to listen to anything anyone had to say that differed from my opinion. Ignorance at its best.

For months I struggled with my new found answer and couldn’t understand why people were so resistant to my message. Of all the people in the world, I figured my mom would support me. But she did not. She sat me down one day and gave me the best advice I have ever gotten. She said if I wanted to make a change in the world, I needed to practice what I preach and lead by example. She told me no one is going to listen to me if I just talk at them. She told me I needed to listen. Mom, I cannot thank you more for this wonderful, life-changing advice. From there, I began to slow down and realize that friends were walking away from me and making fun of my ridiculous behaviour. I felt so embarrassed afterward and had a tough time facing my friends. Peter, however, never left my side. He was open enough to come to church with me and he supported me through some of my craziest times. For that, Petey, I am forever indebted to you. You are the best friend anyone could ever hope for and I will stand by your side through the thick and the thin until the very end. Hopefully it doesn’t end tomorrow because I’d love to see your shinning face again!

So there I was, lost again and wondering what my place was in the world. I decided to go to community college and get educated. I chose recreation because I loved sports growing up. I moved outside of Halifax for the first time in my life and found my zest for learning. I did very well at community college, realizing I was more of an intellectual than I was hands-on student. I watched the movie Freedom Writers in the wintertime and decided that recreation was too narrow for me and that I wanted to go to University to become a teacher. I needed to know more about the world and university was exactly the place I needed to be to learn. I only applied to one university, Mount Saint Vincent in Halifax, and got in with the referral letter from the president of the NSCC Truro campus. My original major was in history but I soon found my love for psychology. I worked in group homes for adults with intellectual disabilities in which I could apply what I learned in psychology to real life. Soon after switching majors, I realized my ability to apply just about every psychological theory to real life and use it to my advantage. Perhaps more importantly, I was able to apply these theories to myself in an attempt to find those answers.

So there I was, buckled down in my studies for the first time in my life. In high school and NSCC I prided myself on being the class clown because making everyone laugh was my favourite thing to do! However, I did not take in a whole lot of knowledge. It was time to grow up. I guess all those teachers who said I had a lot of potential were onto something as I flourished in the university environment. Also getting diagnosed with ADHD while at the Mount really helped me to understand myself better and enabled me to seek out the best conditions to maximize my performance in my studies. Everything was coming together but I still needed more answers.

In my second year, I was introduced to the Art of Living Foundation from my good friend, Joanna. Joanna is a full-time teacher with AOL and a beautiful soul. Through a conversation with Joanna, who called just minutes after I watched my favourite movie Into the Wild, I took a leap of faith and signed up for AOL’s Yes Plus course. Yes Plus taught me many, many new ways to look at life and to improve myself. I learned the power of breathing, meditation, yoga and began the journey inward to find peace. I was handed the key to the ignition. I took a few other advance courses, one of which I remained silent for 2-3 days. Through these experiences I was able to better understand the inner working of myself and was equipped with the tools to improve my being. I rode a lovely life high for a while but still, I did not feel complete. When it comes down to it, I cannot be told what to do. There was a lot of structure with the AOL and there were things that I did not feel right for me. That is not to knock the organization because believe me, it is one of the purest humanistic organizations with the best of intentions this world has to offer. I simply did not feel that my place was to stay with the organization. I took what I learned and moved forward with it. Somethings, I would apply years later that I learned from Yes Plus. How awesome is that? Very. Would I take another course with them? At the drop of a hat if I felt that is what I needed. I encourage anyone interested in self improvement to take a course from AOL. To lend credit to the organization, their courses are taught in over 150 different countries with centers located all over the world. Their mission is to create a stress-free, violence-free society. Here is their website: http://www.artofliving.org/ca-en.

Because I do not want to continue rambling on and lose the interest of the reader, I will do my best to sum up the end of this. As I have mentioned in previous posts, the passing of my friend Marky had a profound effect on me. To understand the significance of his death in my mission to find happiness, read this post: https://brandonjamesyeo.wordpress.com/2012/11/07/marky/. Along with Marky’s passing, my pursuit of inner peace was largely effected by my relationships with women over the years and my never-ending pursuit to find true love. I endured a lot hard times in relationships but have become a better and stronger person because of them. I am proud to say that I have contacted all of my ex girlfriends and found peace with my past. And the journey continues!

As I have stated in previous posts, in the wintertime of this year, I hit rock bottom. I had to confront the demons inside of me and accept myself for who I am. I prayed to God to show me that She/He/It is real. Through a series of events that led me to love myself and find my passion for music, I found what God means to me. I believe God is the energy that connects all of us together. I see God as external energy and an internal energy as well. I do not see God in human form as a powerful man, as God is often portrayed in movies and television. I completely disagree with the notion, “God fearing” because God is forgiving and God is love. God is not to be feared. If we all lived in fear of how we live our lives, which is often the case with many of the world’s religions, we cannot progress to a brighter tomorrow because we will cower and stumble over whether we are doing it “right” or not. Fact is, there is no one “right.” I believe what is right depends on the person and their perception of the world. That is not to come off as a relative perspective because I believe their is some universal truths such as violence being unnecessary and love is forever healing. If you want to harm another, I will stand against you because we know that is not right. Moving on. I do not identify with any one religion because I see the beauty in them all. Furthermore, I do not see a need for religion at this point. I agree with the Dalai Lama who stated a few months back that religion is no longer adequate. It is my belief that religion is inhibiting many from exploring spirituality because of the stigma that is attached to religion now. As soon as I say that I believe in God, people often tell me they aren’t religious. When I confirm that I too am not religious, they are confused. God=religion or at least that what it seems to be in North America. But God did not create religion, humans created religion. Humans corrupted many of these religions with segregation, creating power structures to control it’s followers and striking fear into the believer. That is a rough portrait of religion, I know. But that is my perception of what has become of many of our world’s religions. Is there still good in religion? Of course there is. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, Mohammed, Buddah or any of the other Great prophets, and you are happy with your spirituality then that is wonderful. Stick with it if that is what you feel is right for you. There is a lot of good that has and will continue to be done through religion. My problem with religion is the extremists who push their values and beliefs on other people. These are the ones murdering in the name of God and creating a pandemic of fear in some twisted perception that what they are doing is “right.” Let me tell you, God is not about murder or violence in any way. If people do not agree with your view on God, you are going to have to learn to accept that. Our belief in God is suppose to bring us together and fill our hearts with joy. God tells us to work together and help all of our brothers and sisters in need. God does not segregate. God does not hate. God is love. It is religion that convey’s many of these false beliefs and practices. Let us look to God, in what God means to you, then to what other human’s believe is “right.” Most importantly, let us all come together and accept one another and our individual beliefs so that we can finally put this bullshit behind us and enjoy peace on earth.

I just turned 25 the other day and am happy to say that I have found inner peace and happiness with myself. I have and will continue to struggle but I know the peace is there and I know what I need to do to get it back. I want to thank everyone thus far who has taken an interest in my life. I am enjoying writing my thoughts, insights and discoveries as I continue to travel around the world. I appreciate the positive feedback and messages I have gotten from friends and new friends alike, believing in my dream and encouraging me to continue forward. It can get very stressful at times doing what I am doing in a capitalist system and your support is the driving force in my refusal to give up. If I can make at least one person happy for a moment each day, that is enough for me to continue, even if that person happens to be me. So thank you and I hope you continue to follow the blog.

Peace on earth is attainable, my friends, as long as we all work together, accept ourselves, accept each other and accept what we cannot control. If you want peace, start from within and let the angel out that is in each one of us. Oh the good we will do!

Sending you all of love and positive vibes.

Love,

Brandon

A Time for Prayer

In light of the school shooting that happened in Connecticut today, I think it is important that we all take time to send a prayer for these undeserving victims. Prayer can come in the form of thoughts or even a moment of silence to remember our fallen brothers and sisters. These children and adults woke up this morning like they have done every other day in their life and found themselves in dreadful situation. Those who were lucky to escape the wrath of this lost soul will be in a shocked and mournful state for a while and will need all the support they can get. Those unfortunate ones who lost their lives will always be remembered. My hope is that we can learn from this traumatic event and move forward to a brighter tomorrow.

Since reading the CBC article earlier, I have been seeing many Facebook status’ expressing sadness and anger over this situation. Those are two natural emotions to experience over such a traumatic circumstances. Anger, however, will not add to the healing. Anger, which has to be expressed, perhaps in a more appropriate way, will not take away what has happened. Anger will make many people want to seek revenge on this individual but as the media reports have stated, the gunman is among the casualties. So what do we do with this anger we feel? I believe we must channel it into productive energy to search for answers. We need to search for what made this man feel so awful about himself and the world that he had to end the lives innocent people. We can jump to many conclusions here and say he was ‘crazy’ or he was an outcast of society. Sure, we can do that, but why was he an outcast? Why was he crazy? Was it a mental illness or a result of people directing their anger at him? Until the reports come in, we do not know. To me, being the empathetic individual that I am, I think this man was lost within himself. He directed his anger at the world and blamed everyone else for his pain and suffering. How awful is that? I know. This man needed help. Perhaps people tried, perhaps he tried himself, but ultimately he spoke more loudly then he ever had with his actions on this day. A tragedy to say the least.

So what can we take from this? Of course, we are still in the early stages of this situation so more information will be revealed in the following days. For now, however, we can understand more than ever that there are people out there who need our help. People lost in depths of darkness within and crying for help. Sometimes we cannot hear these people but we can see it in their eyes. Sometimes we can hear it but we choose to walk away. Sometimes we tell ourselves that is not our business and someone else will help that person. What if they don’t? What if you were the one person that could make a positive difference in that person’s life? What if? That is a question we all know and fight will on the daily. So why torture yourself with it and  instead take a chance on faith that someone out there needs your help. You might not be feeling good about your own self but an ear from a friend or stranger is better than no ear at all. A smile, a compliment, even just acknowledging that person’s existence in the world can be helpful. How many of us have walked the streets feeling so lonesome, so unhappy about our place in the world, and then found someone that seemed to say exactly the right thing or simply listened to you. Remember how relieved you were to find that person? And what about the times you found yourself at home again, alone, and feeling so down that nothing could pull you up? Where is that person now? Where are you now? You feel alone, even though none of us are really alone, and you cannot seem to shake it. That’s when a helping hand from a fellow human being is needed. That is why I have stated numerous times now that every single human life is significant. To emphasize what I mean here I will share a story a man told me once:

This is a story of a aboriginal man in Nova Scotia. He was the victim of injustice he insisted was a result of him being aboriginal. He found himself stuck in downtown Halifax after the ordeal with no drive home. He sat on the sidewalk feeling sorry for himself as a homeless man pushing a shopping cart full of bottles passed by. The homeless man stopped and asked, “are you okay?” I’m alright, said the man. The homeless man continued pushing his cart and then stopped again. He looked down and said to the man, “it will get better.” Yes it will, thought the man. The man told me how that one small act of kindness completely changed his day. The homeless man’s words lifted the man’s spirit and brought him back to light.

I often think of this story when I encourage people to get out there and help others. You see, it really does not take much. A few words, a few minutes of lending your ear out to  another, a moment in your life and you can make one brighter in someone else’s. People are hurting everyday. People are feeling love everyday. When you are feeling love, spread it. When you are feeling sadness, don’t be afraid to ask for a helping hand. There are angels out there on the streets and in the most unlikely of places. There are people that care everywhere. Let’s not leave anyone behind because they are different then the rest. We are all unique as we are all the same. We are put here to move forward together. We cannot do that if we leave someone behind and we cannot do that if we judge people. Let’s accept everyone for who they are. Let’s help those in need of positive change in their lives. Let’s put our anger aside and move forward as a unit. Let’s find the peace that lies within each one of us.

I encourage all of you to go out and do  something nice for someone today. They could be hurting, you never know.

Be well, my friends.

Love,

Brandon

 

Tears of Joy

As I begin writing this post, there is tears in my eyes. These tears are different from the ones I had in my eyes the other day. These tears come from the happiness I feel deep down in my soul. These tears represent the warmth I feel for the people of this world. These tears remind me that there is always a brighter day for every dark night. These are tears of joy.

The best part of this story is how the tears came to be. My last few posts have been largely based on the struggle and survival mode. I have been to the low points of the Western world, fighting on the daily to make it to the top. I am heading there, this I know, but the journey goes up and down like the roller coaster of life. After Donny appeared at exactly the right time the other day, I felt that things could only get better. Well, my friends, they have most certainly gotten better. With Donny’s positive support, I was able to start snapping out of the funk I was in. I was tired and burnt out but my faith was still intact. I decided to head to my mom’s friend’s home out side of Vancouver in Port Coquitlam. Linda and David treated me like royalty the two nights I stayed there. They fed me, gave me more food to take with me, gave me a bed, gave me anything I needed and gave me so much love! They are both givers. What happens when one giver meets another giver? Love is shared. How beautiful my experience with these two kindred souls. I left there yesterday morning feeling like a new man and ready to take on the world again. All of my needs were met and my head felt clear.

I met up with Donny back in East Van and hit the streets to play music. We wore hilarious Christmas sweaters which we got compliments on all day. We figured people would either appreciate our Christmas spirit or have a laugh at the very least. We made people smile all day and had the most lucrative outing in terms of generating income and eliciting positive emotions in our audience. We left there and hung out with some new friends on Eagle Island in West Vancouver. What an hilarious night it was! The little boat we had to take about 50 yards across the water lost its ability to turn so we got stranded on the little shore. It was a mission but we got it in. We all came inside and enjoyed a nice meal prepared by Donny, Jamilla, and myself to some degree. We were fed and happy. Donny played us a couple nice tunes by the fireside and then the group decided to hit the road again. Since the power boat was out of commission, we had to take the ole paddle boat. Hilariousness ensued as we had to make a couple trips to get everyone across safety. She is almost tipped a couple times but we got er across with laughter in the air. Three dudes in a boat that is designed to hold 1, maybe 1.5 at most, can get a little dangerous lol. Fun, nonetheless. After I dropping everyone off, I made up the ole car bed and slept peacefully for a solid ten hours! Great night.

I woke up this morning and said this is going to be a good day. I went to the coffee shop to update my blog and check my emails. I got an email from a new friend, Allison, who randomly stumbled upon this blog. She said that my writing provided her a moment of happiness in her day. She encouraged me to continue living my unconventional way of life. She told me to live loudly and continue to connect with people from all walks of life. I will do that, Allison. Thank you. She then sent me some money to help with my travels. It was her way of encouraging me to keep going and to get the things I need for survival so I can continue to spread love. What a beautiful soul. I cannot describe how good it makes me feel to know that my writing is affecting people so positively. To know that my very existence has purpose and meaning for not only me but other people as well, is all the motivation I need to keep going. I can go to bed tonight with a smile on. If I don’t wake up tomorrow, I will rest peacefully knowing that I made a difference. Thank all of you for being a part of it. I love you.

I hope my experience here can provide you some light in your own life. Keep pushing through and the light will shine brighter than you ever imagined.

Be well, my friends.

Love,

Brandon